Harmicar, 38, moved from Youngstown, Ohio, and she left her job doing marketing for a restaurant chain. Now, the resident of the North Side's Mexican War Streets does marketing for LIFE (Living Independence of the Elderly) Pittsburgh. Then, just before Christmas, Harmicar got engaged to David Seman, 39.

Major life changes bring stress. Harmicar says that being away from her family, leaving a job she knew so well, and learning a whole new community both where she lives and works have brought anxiety with the change.

"They were great changes and they're ... very positive things, but there are definitely some things that are tied to it that have been a little stressful," she says. "I had so much anxiety over whether I could handle the change emotionally. To take a job that I really didn't know -- that was kind of scary for me."

A major life change can cause anything from mild discomfort and anxiety to terror, experts say. Life's curves range from positives such as getting married, having a baby, leaving for college, or retiring -- to unwanted, negative, traumatic changes, like becoming a widow, getting a major illness, or losing a job.

"The majority of people don't like change; most people are afraid of change," Auriela McCarthy says. She is the author of "The Power of the Possible: A Book of Hope and Inspiration."

"Change always brings chaos, whether it's a good change or a bad thing," she says. "(People) know that things are not going to be the way they've been."

When a wonderful thing happens -- like landing the job you wanted very much, or finally getting married -- you are thrilled, McCarthy says. Yet, at the same time, you may feel some dread, at least for a short time. Your daily routine is bring disrupted, and even if it's a welcome change, the adjustment can be stressful, she says.

"Why experience dread when something you've dreamed about is now yours?" McCarthy says. "Once the change has happened, you are no longer who you were. Consequently, part of you knows things aren't going to be the way they have been."

People who have religious beliefs often handle change more easily, she says, because they feel like there's a good reason for the change, or they simply feel like they are not alone.

Marie DeSantis, 49, of Cheswick, says she tries to put her recent job loss in God's hands, and that brings her comfort, although it's been difficult. She lost her 14-year job as an office manager in late November, when the office closed. Since then, she has been keeping busy organizing the house, and spending time with a friend who also lost her job.

"Probably my hardest day was the Monday after New Year's," DeSantis says. "At that point, everybody is going back to work ... and you're not."

Other major changes have happened in recent years in the DeSantis household. Her husband, Joe, an electrician, switched employers six years ago. He now has a monthly paycheck instead of weekly paychecks, and the couple have had to adjust their budget. In July of 2007, Marie DeSantis' mother, Violet Pysh, moved into an assisted living facility, which was upsetting. Yet now, Marie DeSantis says, her mother is much happier.

DeSantis says part of coping with change is embracing the hope that in the long run things will turn out for the better. "I think I'm ready for a change," Marie DeSantis says about her future. "I'm ready for a fresh start somewhere."

Of all positive changes, perhaps the most radical and stressful one is having a baby, says

Cindy Blasko, consumer-education coordinator for Magee-Womens Hospital of UPMC, which offers postpartum support for new parents, and baby-care classes to prepare couples for the change.

"Parents seem to find it exciting and overwhelming at the same time when they're expecting," says Blasko. "I don't think anyone's completely prepared for the changes."

Dawn Backos, 40, of Greensburg, was hit with a dramatic but delightful surprise. She became pregnant in her late 30s, after she and her husband -- Jerry, 62 at the time -- had given up on having a baby. Both she and her husband had children from previous relationships.

"I literally came into work one day and said, 'I'm not feeling good. Wouldn't it be funny if I were pregnant?' " Backos says. "It was absolutely beyond my wildest expectations."

In June 2007, baby Natalia was born. Then, this year, another big household change occurred: Jerry Backos retired from his job as a tool-and-die maker. Now, her husband stays home with Natalia every day, while Dawn Backos goes to her job as a mental-health therapist. It's a big role reversal, she says.

"My husband was never the one to cook meals and go grocery shopping," she says.

Paul Friday, chief of clinical psychology at UPMC Shadyside, calls the stress people feel over a positive change "eustress," a term that means healthy stress that gives one a feeling of fulfillment. Positive stress over a change, he says, can be just as difficult to adjust to as other kinds of stress, because of the adaptation involved.

"Change is the toughest thing a human being can do," says Friday. He is the author of "Friday's Laws: How to Become Normal When You're Not, and How to Stay Normal When You Are."

To be emotionally healthy, Friday says, a person needs to accept that change is a part of life -- in fact, change is the only constant and sure thing in life.

EMBRACING CHANGE

Are you facing a major life change, either good or bad, and feeling stressed and fearful about it? Consider these tips.

• Give yourself praise for your part in making a positive change, like losing weight, or getting a great new job.

• Realize that an unwanted change, like a job loss, can turn out to be a huge blessing, which you will realize when you look back on it. Maybe a forced negative change is the only way you'll end up in a more positive situation, because you weren't willing to change earlier.

• Take good care of yourself physically, especially if the change involves something physical, like having a baby. Get as much rest as possible.

• Try to keep your sense of humor. It makes change much easier to handle, and even can make it enjoyable.

• Utilize your support system, and stay close to supportive friends and family members.

• Seek help with a mental health professional, if necessary.

• Write about your feelings in a journal. Later, you can look back at it, and see how far you've come.

• Learn to find peace with uncertainty. Change is an inevitable part of life.

• Take a positive attitude toward change, even if the change is negative. Ask yourself, "What can I learn from this, and what can the opportunity be in this?"

Sources: Psychologist Paul Friday, author Auriela McCarthy and Cindy Blasko of Magee-Womens Hospital of UPMC